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'If you do that, then I do too!' The principle of social proof

Who among us has not thought that good food in a restaurant where there are many people in an evil and that the empty tables?
The mechanism that triggers in our minds is: 'have to cook it here if so many have chosen this restaurant! I choose too, vah! '.
Ti seems to be simplifying the reality? We proved this phenomenon scientifically!
Years ago, a group of psychologists Columbia University makes a experiment: the streets of Manhattan distributes some envelopes containing a wallet, bewildered by what they call "the office. Careless, "and a ticket, where "Mr. Ethics "- that he had found - expressed a desire to return. The objective of the experiment: to detect how many would follow the example of Mr. Ethics. Score: 70% returned the wallet. This behavior is explained by
principle of social proof , that we feel entitled to make a certain choice (to return the wallet) when it was already shown by others (read in the intent to return ticket).
But what would happen if the ticket had contained the words: "Imagine if you return it! PRRRRRR:)" ?! Probably That same 70% would keep the wallet with it!
Bottom line: if you are at a crossroads and must make a choice, get a clue about you but choose a good example! So if you are in the mail and there is a lot line, imitating those with the patience and do not respect those who go directly to the desk, inventing a broken leg to go forward:)

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Life torque

Thomas has just met the beautiful Camilla, and is already dreaming of living with her!
That's it: the two young get engaged and decide to live together .
The married life seems to be for the better: they are very attracted to each the other, the passion is strong. Do not miss the chance to reserve the right moments to be together ... I
mprovvisamente that understanding which makes them so close, dissolve: Thomas understands that what he feels is not love, but only physical attraction.
Camilla does not believe his eyes: "How can you treat me so? Yet our intimate moments left me understand anything ... you just wanted to take advantage of me, then. You are all the same, you men. "

Thomas certainly had no intention to hurt her: had given too much importance to the physical appearance of the report, changing this interest in a deeper sense.
But the life of couples, united only by a strong agreement at the physical level, can not last long. Because once experienced the pleasures and passions of individuals, everything ends.
True love comes from a 'mental and emotional understanding, as well as a physical person.
only the involvement that comes from total agreement with the other, love can withstand the test of time.

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As we like to get attention? The principle of scarcity

In home care, hangs a rather rough climate. It is the night before an important job interview, and John is worried. But she is Alberta, always ready to offer his support .
"Honey, you'll see that tomorrow you will know to give a good impression of you, as always. But what time did you train? And the ticket you bought it? Quick, pack your bags, otherwise you'll have to do the last minute. Do you have enough money with you? ".
Alberta For this is a way of expressing their love, to be near him at an important time. To tell him how she loves him. But Gianni feels annoyed by this attitude almost maternal , and reminds him that a mother has it already.

Everyone likes to receive attention: the woman, who complains of not receiving enough, and the man who, though not openly say it, he needs to feel appreciated and encouraged. But there's never happened that a friend, confiding, I would say: "Too much attention strangle me, I need my space"?

It 'good to devote special attention to the person you love, but do not harass!
Above all, if your partner loses the train, because prepared the suitcase at the last minute, do not tell him: "I told you so ...." It 'the most irritating one can hear in these situations!

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You have just entered a clothing store, after you look around your eye will fall on a jacket. There seems very refined and elegant, the tried and there is a brush.
buy it now if it were not for the price far too high. Then say to the clerk who is a really nice jacket, but expensive, so we just think 'about.
The clerk replies: "Sure, you think about it but not too much. And 'the last size 48 left .... "
Whether true or not, even after five minutes, you're back in the shop: you say that basically you just need a new jacket, and this is so special ... you just can not stand the idea that someone buy it for you . It does not matter if there are others in the area thousands of shops and thousands of jackets, you want that.

What made you change your mind so suddenly?
The principle of scarcity: opportunities seem more desirable when their availability is limited. If something is rare, or is about to become worth more.
This makes us think about many of our behavior ... and, let's face it, even on many of the patterns of the clerks ... Here
explained why, in the shops are always things to finish!

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Women who say yes

It is said that women who say yes to the proposals of their peers are happy to do so. This unfortunately is not always understood by men. For the sake of their partner, but above all by their nature, women are brought to be available and condescending towards those who have supported . Show their love to their partner for any enthusiastic about his idea (even the folly of going to see the Faust Nekrosius play for 4 hours .. in Lithuanian!). This mechanism triggers self-destructive female man the confidence that your woman is really excited for what he does.
In this way, he feels justified in believing that everything is perfect. Big mistake! One day she will come to rise up and say that he does not do anything for her. 'But how? I've also worn by Nekrosius ...? ' he thinks, proving he does not understand too much of his woman.
Unfortunately, women are like this, are permissive, generous, tender and submissive ... until they realize that they need something more from their partners . On the other hand, since the woman did not immediately notify the man to his needs, he becomes convinced that everything he does is right and that has to do to make her happy, indeed .. How do you solve the problem then?
For women: with your man learn to sip the enthusiasm and free proponetegli the things you enjoy!
For men: always remember that if a woman smiles does not mean that he is happy and content with what you are saying!

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how to make their wishes

"All of us are able to achieve our desires.
The first step is to run the universe pure intent, or a desire that is not contaminated by negative ideas or anxieties arising from the society we live in, from family, from our past. The pure intention is typical of children, as it comes from the heart.
doing so, let the universe details , triggering a mechanism in which the cosmic forces make every effort to send signals and create useful opportunities for the realization of our dreams. Of course, we must be able to pick them, because without commitment is not possible to achieve what we want .
Suppose I want to have a car of my dreams, such as a Porsche. My intention is pure when it does not go with, even if unconsciously, with phrases like '... but who knows how much it costs,' or 'I wonder if I'll scratch', or 'I wonder what impression to give people with this purchase'. In these cases, uploading my desire to mental ballast, are not able to pick up the signals that the universe offers me to prepare the ground , everything appears blurred and ambiguous, and I will have to work twice as hard to achieve my goal.
sent to the University a pure desire, by contrast, will multiply the opportunities for and anxiety and fatigue will be minimal. "

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memory: a steady workout

're telling your friend you saw the movie last night at the cinema. We really liked the actors were fantastic, perfect screenplay. Recommended him dispassionately. "I must see it, is called ... uh ... uh ..." . A lapse of memory takes hold of you.
Wow, there you have it right on the tip of your tongue but you just do not remember it. Of course the fault is the memory, not yours, I've always been lacking from an early age, when children forget to wash your teeth before going to sleep!

The truth is that we remember only the things we want to remember.

Think about your first kiss ... and who if he forgets? years have passed but the memory is still fresh in our mind like it happened yesterday. True?
if you could keep the memory of all things, there would seem to live more fully in our lives?

is a simple, practical and affordable for everyone to achieve improvements in a short time: try to transform any thing to remember - an event, a date, a name-in images, and attributed these emotions. The images are imprinted in our minds it more effectively and easily than an abstract concept, so it will be easier to bring to mind whenever we want.
Remember that the memory must be trained in a consistent manner and method, otherwise you will fool us!

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I'll tell you my experience .... That salvation

November 18. at 20:30. The evening is warm, does not seem to belong to a winter month ... Walk with John Gray on the streets of Rome presenting to the beauty of our capital ... we talk of relationships between men and women, just finished the seminar, heat and the right mix between the heart and brain that Italians have demonstrated
... .... if I had been told all this first 2 years would not have believed!

Know John enriched me, made me reflect on many aspects of my life and myself. I've got to deal with a competent person , professional while charismatic and loving contact with people . A trainer full, in short:)

So that's my recollection of the course with John Gray. I would share it with you all, hoping that his suggestions may be really useful in your emotional relationships and the relationship with yourself.

Force! TELL U.S. ABOUT your emotions post-course: you can continue to share with me and with all your companions in the adventure experience started in the classroom!

I wait.
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children!

Caesar and Clara are a happy couple and love.
They have a beautiful daughter named Ilde, which have a sincere and deep relationship. For 30 years, Caesar and Clara exchanging gestures of love and tenderness as if they had just met. But lately Ilde is worried because her parents seem to ignore every day. The days follow one after another, and in the evening when they were all at dinner together, but nobody talks about television.
Ilda decides to do something to save the day. Like a good daughter to her parents family enrolled in a course of a couple's relationship, which his and where parents are pleasantly discover interesting things.
Ilda, loving daughter, the return of his course notes from a complete difference in attitudes. Hers are very affectionate, and every week organize a romantic weekend around the world.
But what had happened all those years of marriage to Caesar and Clara? And most importantly, what prompted them to change so radically?
During the hours of the course Caesar and Clara were encouraged to reflect on their relationship. They realized that after 30 years of marriage now you took for granted with each other. They knew so well and were so used to each other which are no longer interested in communicating.

Fortunately, the fruit of their love: loving daughter Ilde resolve the situation by requiring parents to reflect on why you wear every day a happy love story.

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Time passes, but he does not watch the clock!

Mimmo and Carla are a couple. She is convinced that its going to ask him to marry her, every time you think the right one: "Here we go, tonight is the right time, I certainly will take unprepared."
The proposal, however, is left to wait ... but what woman who dreams of your boyfriend become resigned to marry her?? The proposal of marriage should be the 'expression of a desire to hear, not an obligation!
So, he decided to talk to him, and does so with the heart "Love .... I would like to marry you ... But at times it seems to me that this will never happen .. I will not suggest things to do reluctantly, I love you and wait for you to be ready. "

few days later, Mimmo seratina advantage of a romance with her to ask her to marry him. What a nice surprise!

This is a common situation, the couple : she wants to marry, he does not feel, simply seems to have everything already, why engage in life? But not understanding the importance of marriage for women, as a culmination of the romance. Understand that if Carla had given him an ultimatum, or even worse, had threatened to plant it, he would run screaming!
Men do not like being cornered ...
But, putting aside the claims and communicate their state of mind without reserve, here Checa gets what she wants!

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Who is your soul mate?

Emma and Paul have been together for three years. For some time he is not convinced to continue this relationship. While very loving, in fact, she realizes that Emma is not the love of his life.
Emma realizes that something does not work anymore and is desperate "I thought you were my soul mate ... you say you love me, because then you ruin everything?".
The story drags in discussions and squabbles: I'm not made for each other, yet unable to leave. They fight so much, not anymore. At the end of break.

Loving a person does not always mean it is necessarily a soul mate, the right person for us. But when this happens, you truncate a better relationship, that drag it without knowing where you are going. Otherwise we would end only resentment and hostility towards others.

If you're sure to love someone, think for a moment, before screaming at the top of their lungs that you have found the person of your life! If it is not really your soulmate, the one that is close, maybe you will not live happy all my life ...
Why settle for the wrong person then?

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We're too different, we can not be together ...

Martha and Philip know at a party. It takes a strong understanding: Marta thinks that Philip has something special and Philip thought to have been fortunate to know her. ... But as time goes on, more foreign Martha: one day is full of care for him and the next day you do not even hear ... To explain this strange behavior is: Marta is afraid, because it makes account to be very different from him. "I like him very much, but it is clear that we can not be together if we are so different, we will end only to suffer ..."
Often the differences in the relations with our partners scare us. We believe that happy relationships is necessary to have a share of inter them, a way of seeing things that reflect our own. In reality the differences are not always the obstacles, or imply the impossibility of being together. Sometimes it is the differences to give rise to strong relationships. The secret lies in understanding these differences, accept the point of view even when our view is totally different.

Moreover we can not expect our partners to think through and everything exactly like us ...

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MONEY: IF IN EXCESS MAY 'CREATE ANY

Pamela and Christian are very much in love and their marriage will be the next step. Unfortunately do not fare very well, money is short and struggling just to be able to make ends meet with no debt. The best moment of the day and evening exhausted when they meet at home and tell their troubles. Pamela is unleashed, the Christian listens and understands.
After the first years of marriage, everything changes : become rich, they make a crazy and collect career success after success. Yet .. Pamela is increasingly sad and unhappy . Christian is confused, Pamela does not understand, because it seems that now has everything: 'marriage, money, career, power .. what to wish for more? ' - Cristiano asked. Pamela continues to say 'you do not understand ..' and so spend their evenings arguing. They decide to divorce because their relationship will increasingly threadbare.

What has happened in the relationship of Christian and Pamela? What happened to their evenings together as poor as they trusted and were all happy?

First, Pamela felt loved and important, because every night listening to the Christian and she was happy when they were together. With the arrival of wealth, Cristiano change: does not and will not include outbursts of Pamela, because she believes that money is the solution to many if not all, problems. If he 's had heard and she had made it clear that he needed to understand that more jewels, everything would be solved.

Communication is the turning point. It also costs less jewelry:)

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Larry and Sandra, a common history

Sandra and Larry have been married for 20 years. Sandra wants the separation, while Larry is hoping to smooth things over.

'How can you hope to avoid separation? 'is unleashed Sandra and Larry' do not love me, do not try anything. you going every time I need to talk to you! 're cold and heartless! .. I'm tired of you and try to go every time alone. It's over! '.

Sandra does not realize that she with this attitude contributes to the inexorable separation . and think it's just the fault of the husband. is convinced to have done everything possible to enhance intimacy, communication and dialogue between them. It is he who has always opposed a strenuous resistance. But what Sandra does not see is that men need moments of solitude, the 'so-called' 'spaces', which finds its freedom, its autonomy. At a certain point, however, he returns from his wife. According to Sandra, but Larry was leaving because he did not care anything about her. Never would have thought that once again would be willing to listen.
If Sandra had understood this, probably could have saved the report with her husband.

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men, women and memory.

Today is the anniversary of your first engagement it's almost time to go to dinner and you're preparing for the occasion. Did you book the most romantic restaurant in the city and you bought a dress very sexy .. You're running out of makeup when ... the phone rings: it's your boy tells you, ' Love, are you ready?'

The evening promises fantastic, the place is beautiful and everything is stuffed with sweet words and take effusions, until .. do not do the big question: 'Love, you remember our first date? '' Of course I remember you had some great pants blacks .. ' You remain puzzled and say, 'But was not wearing pants blacks, I had a white skirt with a blue shirt with narrow diagonal stripes' He tries to bounce back saying,' uh .. It was true love, you had a blue shirt and white skirt 'And you, always more irritated: 'It turns out that it was a long-sleeved shirt and a shirt and then the skirt was long with little pence on the right .. But can not you remember ????.. I remember very well how you were dressed . least remember what you told me the first time we met?! ' But only one out of his mouth: 'Umhn?' 'And there begins an endless speech about why he does not remember your ever a tube:)

In fact, this is because women and men have a different conformation of the brain : women have the hippocampus, that is part of the filing of memory which remembers the events in greater detail, larger than that of men. So if your boy does not remember all the details of your first date, do not scold, do not depend on him, but from what Mother Nature has decided! ;-)

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Men and women, two different worlds in a common universe

Think of the behavior between men and women at the helm.
What does a woman if, in the vicinity of a traffic light, a car in front of her is very flat and decided to stop because it is fire yellow? slows and stops too waiting patiently to purchase green.

What makes a man instead? impatient and began to curse in front of the machine insulting, honking, saying things like: ' but you want to move! I can not wait!! What did you stop doing?? '

Well, this different behavior men and women can be explained scientifically. In fact, according to studies by the California neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizedine , the differences between men and women about the reasoning and behavior are due to different development of brain mass . In women part of the brain that governs self-control (prefrontal cortex) develops first and is the largest : why women tend to be more patient and peaceful men. Even the traffic lights!

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Why men do not call

How you felt before they became a couple, your first date?
suddenly created an atmosphere almost magical, everything seemed to give you sensations unforgettable. To conclude the evening chatting in the house, a romantic kiss, and then hope to meet again soon.

In a similar context is Marta, who can not wait to call Gigi , the day after their 1st appointment. He wants to hear your voice, want to tell him what was good about him ... because in his heart that would soon become a couple . "Hello Gigi, is Martha." A pause and behold, a voice answers: "Hello Martha, why you call me?? ", thinking something had happened since ... they had left less than 24 hours! Angry and his face flushed Martha hangs up immediately. Gigi does not understand: "Where is the girl loving, tender and understanding that I brought out yesterday? Better run before it's too late . "

Women appreciate when a man named after an appointment . And if you do not receive a call, they do it. They find a nice gesture and instinctive, the demonstration would start in two new stages, as a couple .
is not the same for men , who, despite having spent a pleasant evening, not necessarily recall the day after . This does not mean that you have an interest in the issue, simply do not want to show to be too interested!

So, dear women, have a little 'patience! Often, no call is hiding behind the syndrome of ' ' man who never has to ask ' ! :)

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Because women do not ask?

The women find it difficult to ask. So how do people understand what they need?? why often say: "Who understands is good." On Mars, in fact, if you need anything, you have to do is ask. And if you do not, it is because you do not need anything. Nothing is easier!
Lucia worked for 5 years in a pharmaceutical company. His most frequent complaint to its natural inclination to help others, especially his male "taking on even those who do not compete." In the long run this creates in her a strong resentment , so that often tends to respond them so sour and unkind.

What is the explanation for this behavior? By nature, women are not accustomed to ask and are quite willing to give, considering also assume that the men then do the same. If Lucy had learned to ask for help on occasions when he was too tired to complete its work, probably ... would have received! and its acidity had no reason to exist.

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how to make a lasting change?

How many times have you already quit smoking right now? How many times have you lost on kili kili and then have them taken in the blink of an eye?
To a lasting change, you affect your nervous system not only once but constantly . You must be able to make that change a habit, rather than a momentary incident.

I got a real education in conditioning the other day while watching a tuner that worked on our baby grand piano. When I asked the account told me that I would have informed the next visit. "It means that is not done yet!?" I asked. I patiently explained that the ropes are strong and that the plan, to maintain the perfect level of tension, must be packed regularly.

is what we do, too: consistency is our ally . After all, infrequently one aerobics class and then proclaim "now I am fit and healthy for the rest of my life!"